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Relationship abuse is a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. An abusive relationship means more than being hit by the person who claims to love or care about you. Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. Abuse tends to escalate over time. When someone uses abuse and violence against a partner, it is always part of a larger pattern to try and control her/him.

If you are being abused by your partner, you may feel confused, afraid, angry and/or trapped. All of these emotions are normal responses to abuse. You may also blame yourself for what is happening. But no matter what others might say, you are never responsible for your partner’s abusive actions. Dating abuse is not caused by alcohol or drugs, stress, anger management, or provocation. It is always a choice to be abusive.

Please see If You Are Being Abused for assistance.

Relationship Abuse	Types of Abuse	How to Help
What is relationship abuse? Warning signs of abuse FAQs Power and Control Wheels Barriers to Leaving an Abusive Relationship Children and Relationship abuse	Tactics of Abuse Tactics against immigrant women Tactics against women with disabilities Tactics against the LGBT community	How to help a friend who is being abused How to help a coworker who is being abused Avoiding victim blaming

Note on Our Use of Pronouns

Because the vast majority of domestic violence is committed by men against women, this page was written using the female gender when referring to the abused person. Domestic violence happens in same-sex relationships as well. All the information in this section is relevant for male victims and for individuals in same-sex relationships.