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What is Relationship Abuse?

Relationship abuse is a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. An abusive relationship means more than being hit by the person who claims to love or care about you. Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. Abuse tends to escalate over time. When someone uses abuse and violence against a partner, it is always part of a larger pattern to try and control her/him.

It Is Not Your Fault

If you are being abused by your partner, you may feel confused, afraid, angry and/or trapped. All of these emotions are normal responses to abuse. You may also blame yourself for what is happening. But no matter what others might say, you are never responsible for your partner’s abusive actions. Dating abuse is not caused by alcohol or drugs, stress, anger management, or provocation. It is always a choice to be abusive.

Please see If You Are Being Abused for assistance.

Relationship Abuse

Types of Abuse

How to Help

Note on Our Use of Pronouns

Because the vast majority of domestic violence is committed by men against women, this page was written using the female gender when referring to the abused person. Domestic violence happens in same-sex relationships as well. All the information in this section is relevant for male victims and for individuals in same-sex relationships.