Safety Planning with Children

Here is some information about working with children who have witnessed domestic violence. Remember that it is the perpetrator’s choice to expose violence to their children. Do not blame the mother for the violence that is being perpetrated against her. Hold the perpetrator responsible for his actions.

S Stay out of the fight.

A Avoid getting trapped.

F Find a phone.

E Everyone knows it’s not your fault.

• You don’t need to keep secrets when you feel scared or sad.
• You are not to blame for the violence in your home.
• Don’t get in the middle of a fight.
• Identify escape routes from the house and where to meet outside.
• Identify an adult you trust and tell when something is happening in your house.
• Anger and frustration are okay but violence is not.
• It is okay to feel angry with mom and/or dad. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them.
• There are safe places for Mom to take you.
• It’s okay to feel mixed up about things.
• It is okay to like Dad and at the same time not like him when he is violent and hurting
  family members.
• You need to keep yourself safe when dad hurts mom.
• There are ways to call for help:
  • Call the police (911).
  • Go to your safe place you have planned about before.
  • Go to a neighbor’s home.
  • Keep your younger brothers and sister in a safe place.

From: Ganley, A., Schuster, S. Domestic Violence: A National Curriculum for protective
services. Family violence prevention fund, 1996